In college, one of my favorite assignments was writing a philosophy paper on virtues.
While doing research for the paper, I went to the library and stumbled on an archaic book on virtues. In it, the author was talking about telling the truth. His description was unique because when he explained why lying is bad, he didn’t say it was because of the immediate consequences of lying. Most parents teach their kids not to lie because it can backfire if the other person finds out. But, this philosopher was saying that doesn’t matter, what really matters is the longer term consequences on you as a person when you lie.
When you lie once and get away with it, it makes it more likely you will lie again tomorrow. This habit then snowballs, and the next thing you know you are lying a lot. Somewhere along the line, you lose control over the lie. You find that you are no longer lying to others, but also to yourself. Suddenly, you cannot distinguish lies from the truth. The inability to discern lies from truth is a frightening prospect, and it’s this revelation that has stuck with me ever since reading that book. I realized the most compelling reason to not lie is to prevent it from becoming a habit and losing my ability to discern lie from truth, right from wrong.
I've since applied this perspective on habits and the long-term effects of lying to all virtues. Another example being the long-term effects of stealing.
I’ll never forget, back in middle school, a new kid moved into our school district, and I immediately became close friends with him. He was charismatic, good-looking, and he played tight-end on the opposite side of the O-line as me on the football team, so we naturally became friends.
One time, his mom drove me and another friend to a local candy store after practice, and when the store owner was not looking, he started to shovel fists full of candy into his pockets. He told me to do the same. I was pretty shocked because I had never stolen anything before. While he kept walking around the store pocketing candy, my other friend and I went back to the car. His mom was driving and the first thing she asked while her son was still in the store was, ‘He’s stealing isn’t he ?’.
My other friend and I just nodded, and his mom proceeded to explain that for people who have less in life, it’s okay to steal.
I look back on that incident now, and I think of the progression of my friend’s stealing. It was small stuff at first, then he started stealing bigger, more expensive stuff. In fact, for my birthday, he gave me a gift that I only realized later he stole from Dick’s Sporting Goods —I found out because it had no packaging. After 3 years, he moved away, but I often wonder what kind of stuff he is stealing now.
A mindset focused on our everyday actions as a process of habit-building is great way to be more vigilant of everything we do. I am reminded that the person I become tomorrow is directly effected by today’s actions, and the person I become in 1 year might be influenced by the trajectory that I set for myself today.
In the Bible it says,
The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
—Proverbs 11:3
Do you see truth telling as a habit forming virtue? What would it look like to be more honest today?
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I agree wholeheartedly. Habits build a person. Thank you for the post!